When Your Child Resists Time with Their Other Parent: What You Can Do

Did you know that nearly 30% of children experience anxiety when it comes time
to transition between  homes? As co-parents, you want what's best for
your children, but what happens when they express their reluctance or dread
regarding visiting the other parent? Understanding the feelings your children may
have can enhance your co-parenting relationship and ultimately lead to healthier
transitions. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons behind your child's resistance to
visiting the other parent's house, practical strategies to make transitions smoother,
effective communication techniques, and the importance of a stable environment
for fostered emotional wellbeing. By tackling these important pieces, you can help your kids feel more at ease going between homes and keep things more positive between you and your co-parent.

Understanding Your Child’s Resistance
When children refuse to go to the other parent's house, it can be perplexing and
disheartening for both parents. Understanding their perspective requires empathy
and insights into their emotional landscape.
1. Fear of Change
Kids thrive on routine; changing their living environment can breed uncertainty.
Their reluctance may stem from anxiety about leaving their primary home where
they feel secure. Think about how it might feel to move between two homes on someone else’s schedule. It’s a lot for a child to manage—and a little empathy can make a big difference.
2. Loyalty Conflicts                                                                                                                              Children may feel a tug-of-war between their parents. They may fear that
spending time with one parent equates to betraying the other. Acknowledging
this internal conflict is fundamental.                                                                                                         3. Recent Changes                                                                                                                                     Significant life changes can amplify children’s reluctance. This includes recent
separation, a new stepparent, or a dramatic change in living conditions like a new
house.
4. Bad Experiences                                                                                                                                     If a child has had a tough time at the other parent’s home—maybe they felt left out, unheard, or caught in conflict—it can create a mental roadblock that makes future transitions harder.

Strategies for Easing Transitions
When your child expresses reluctance, respond with sensitivity and practical
strategies to make transitions smoother.
1. Build Routines Together
Developing a predictable routine can provide comfort to your child. Encourage
your child to express what they would like their visits to look like, making them more engaged in the process. For instance, having a special activity plan for the day can make the visit exciting, rather than intimidating.
2. Keep Lines of Communication Open
Encourage your child to share their feelings. Create an environment where they
feel safe discussing any fears or concerns they have regarding the other parent's
house. Regular check-ins can also help gauge how your child feels about their
visits.
3. Use Positive Reinforcement
Reward your child's willingness to visit. It could be a small treat or allowing them to
choose a fun activity afterward. Positive reinforcement can reshape their
perception of these visits.
4. Stay Consistent
Consistency is key in establishing a sense of safety. Ensure parenting time agreements
are followed, and maintain a united front, reinforcing structure in your child's life.

Effective Communication Techniques
Good communication between co-parents plays a vital part in easing your child’s
transition.
1. Practice Active Listening
Make an effort to listen actively. Validate your child's feelings without judgment.
This builds trust and demonstrates that their feelings matter.
2. Be Mindful of Your Language
How you phrase responses to your child’s concerns considerably impacts their
feelings. Avoid saying anything that might suggest rejection of either parent and
strive to remain neutral and supportive.
3. Incorporate Co-Parenting Apps or Tools
Utilizing co-parenting communication apps can help streamline communication
and reduce tensions. Clear schedules, shared calendars, and discussion boards
keep both parents informed and engaged in their child's activities and needs.
4. Encourage Open Discussion Between Parents
As co-parents, working together around transitions can make a big difference. Try having open conversations about how your child is feeling, and look for shared ways to ease their worries and make time at both homes feel more comfortable.
The Importance of Stability
To foster emotional wellbeing, providing stable environments for your child is
crucial.
1. Create a Comforting Space
Each parent's home should feel welcoming and secure for the child. Leave items
familiar to them in their room—pictures, toys, or bedding—to reassure them of
their importance in both households.
2. Maintain Emotional Availability
Emotional support from both parents reinforces security. When kids feel
emotionally attended to during visits, they are more likely to develop trust and
acceptance.

Inspiring Change
Navigating co-parenting can be complicated, but prioritizing your child’s feelings
can illuminate the pathway forward. Building healthy communication habits and strategies can change everything. Yet, co-parents need to remain vigilant in their
approach, as consistency and patience lead toward long-term success.
Children can thrive in a co-parented environment when you approach this topic
with understanding and compassion. If visits are made more comfortable and
enjoyable, your children will gradually build the courage to embrace both homes.
Where Do we Go From Here?
It’s essential to recognize that co-parenting involves continuous adjustment and
evaluation. Recap the strategies implemented: recognizing resistance,
establishing routines, maintaining open lines of communication, and fostering
stable environments.
By actively involving your child in decision-making and engaging in their
emotional landscape, you empower them throughout the co-parenting process.
Take the first step: Book a Call today to explore how you can customize co-
parenting strategies for your unique situation.